Monday, September 06, 2010

Where were you during the Zombie Apocalypse of 2010?

Well, we're only short a few living dead to really call it a Zombie Apocalypse but for all intents and purposes, with a dash of poetic licence, it's close enough!

I know that you, Dear Reader, are thrilled to know I have survived and "The Fortress" has withstood the worst of the effects of the devastation.

I was in the CBD at the time of the Apocalypse, watching TV in my office. At first, when the room started shaking, I rather nonchalantly thought "ho hum, here we go..." but then a few seconds later the power went off and the shaking intensified into an ongoing roll. Moments later there was an almighty *CRASH* and I thought "I hope that isn't the TV".   

When it had all subsided, and after a few aftershocks, I ventured out to get my torch and survey the damage. A single light fixture in my room had fallen and was the source of the loud crash. My TV was unscathed. Nothing else was even out of place.

Outside was a different story.

Glass littered the streets and the skyline had changed slightly. Nearby buildings were obviously affected with wide cracks in walls, fallen masonry, and broken brickwork. People were walking around, some wearing robes and pajamas - probably from one of the nearby hotels - having a look and animatedly talking to complete strangers about their own experiences. 

As the sky lightened at dawn the extent of the damage became visible throughout the city. Civil Defence warned everyone to boil water first before drinking as water mains and sewerage lines were broken. People were warned to stay out of the central city as many buildings were unsafe.

But still they came - in car, on bicycle, or on foot. Whole families out for a drive through the streets of the devastation, as if for a Sunday picnic. Disaster tourism, maybe?

The building I am in has fared rather well. Some broken windows and a few internal cracks where the plaster has come away from the wall. We have a green sticker stating that there is no restriction to entry at this stage. The building next door has a yellow sticker - some restrictions - and the one next to that is leaning into the street just has a "NO. X."  in fluorescent orange. 

All in all, it was a strange experience. Not only have we withstood the Zombie Apocalypse in the morning but we went back to the comfort of hot showers, cups of tea, the internet, and movies on Sky TV that same day.
Ironically, while I have been untouched by the disaster physically, I may yet not survive the economic after-effects. Today I was open for business as usual and have not billed out a single hour. 

How long can this go on for before I need to kill my neighbours and eat their corpses to survive?

The Fortress stands tall

 Around corner not so much

 Across road


  1. Zombie..... Brains......

  2. Yes, well, there are certainly enough people out there that could qualify for Zombie status and should also be perfectly legal to shoot.

  3. I had wondered where in the world you were blogging from, and now the mystery is solved.

    Incidently you were awake at 4:35am? Still working from the night before, or gearing up for the day ahead?

  4. Neither, actually.

    Like any disreputable PI, or at least the ones who don't have friends with swanky clubs or mansions, I live out of my office.

    Actually, that ties into the topic of my next blog post. Earlier reports of my being unaffected were premature. My next topic will explore the nature of homelessness.

  5. Just incase that Zombie threat does re-emerge:

  6. On another Zombie-related note, there was an article in the last issue of Foreign Policy on "Night of the Living Wonks:
    Toward an international relations theory of zombies" which can be read here: