Monday, October 10, 2011

Things That Really Get My Goat - #1 - Unlicenced Investigators

As anyone that knows me will tell you, I'm normally a placid and carefree individual who holds to a laissez-faire philosophy on life. People who don't know me might insinuate that I'm just lazy and generally can't be arsed. As I said, they don't really know me.

From time to time, Dear Reader, the calm surface of the mill-pond that typifies my serene state is disturbed by bloody great big ripples of rage. Yes, even I get pissed off about things once in a while. I'm only human, after all.

So, what kind of things get my goat?

I'll tell you what...

Unlicenced Investigators!

I guess in any industry that is regulated, it is the unregulated and undocumented parasites who do the most harm. After all, they can damage with impunity and are generally free from the constrictions that tend to bind their more honest colleagues.

That would be the likes of me.

In the past I have been aware of a number of so-called 'professional' investigators who plied their trade without bona fides and even flourished with substantial contracts because their clients believed the bullshit that was being fed to them.

And that made me even angrier.

Why so angry? Because I paid my fees, because I did not misrepresent myself, because I believed that being honest and honourable would bring me the clients and the contracts.

What did I learn?

You can't eat honour.

Actually, that's another story. What I learned is the usual "it's not what you know but who you know" routine and that anyone will believe the most outrageous bullshit if told it by someone wearing a fancy suit.

Well, those days are over. There is a new piece of legislation that binds us and the penalties for non-licenced investigators is now substantial. I will be keeping a very close eye on those who are working without and will have no compunction in reporting them to the authorities for prosecution.

Unlicenced investigators just bring disrepute to the rest of us.


  1. The only person who is worse than the unlicensed investigator, is the cowboy investigator. They and the unlicensed make up 98% of what is wrong in the industry. The other 2% are the dumbass clients who want you to tap phones, use key-loggers and tell the reptilian freemansons to stop trying to steal their brainwaves.

  2. My mama didn't raise me up to be no cowboy.

    There is a particular firm here that has made several notable blunders (as in outed in the press) that really brought the industry into some disrepute through such activities as illegal technical surveillance on behalf of their corporate clients.

    Oddly enough, they still have retained these clients who are paying through their noses for their services.

  3. That is just plain stupid, the clients, if they had half a brain, should run for the hills.

  4. To make things worse, both those clients are state-owned enterprises. You'd think they might be extra-sensitive to illegal or otherwise dubious practices.

  5. What the hell?

    Just goes to show that the government is on the ball.