Monday, June 25, 2012

Dear Penthouse, you'll never believe what happened to me...

I am ashamed to admit, Dear Reader, that I may have been a bad, bad, man. Some of you might even question my professionalism or ethics.

But, in my defence, there were some highly mitigating circumstances.

It all started with a phone call from Bill (not his real name). He had divorce papers to be served on his ex and had been given my number from the nice clerk at Court.

Imagine my surprise when his ex turned out to be Clarissa (not her real name either). Someone I had known quite intimately years ago...

At first I told Bill that I couldn't serve the documents on Clarissa as there might be a conflict of interest. However, I then remembered that documents could be served by a party known to the Respondent and there was a paragraph in the Affidavit that dealt with such eventualities.

Bill didn't seem too pleased to hear that I knew his ex but I told him that I hadn't seen Clarissa since she had moved abroad around 6 years ago. 8 years, he frostily corrected me.

It seemed Bill was about to change his mind and not have me serve Clarissa, but he relented and decided that it didn't really matter after all. He gave me the documents and Clarissa's contact details.

Driving back into town I thought I might pay Clarissa the courtesy of giving her a quick call and explaining the situation to her - rather than just turning up unexpectedly. We could work out something to suit.

The phone call went well - once she got over her surprise of unexpectedly hearing from me after all these years and under the circumstances of having her divorce papers to serve. Clarissa was happy enough to sort out a time and place to suit for service and suggested Sunday evening. I explained that, unfortunately, service was void on Sundays. Clarissa said she would get back to me.

Later that evening, I received a text from Clarissa. She was in a bar not very far away with a few friends, and asked if I would like to join her and 'catch up' over a few drinks?

Sure, I said. Why not?

I met her and her friends, several who I remembered from some years ago, and I had a couple of vodkas while they drank wine. We chatted about what we'd been up to in the years since we'd last seen each other and Clarissa said that she should have taken my advice regarding Bill. Apparantly, and I don't recall this, I'd told her not to marry him as he looked like a gorilla. Well, good to know I was right!

While she was telling me this, I couldn't help but notice how she was stroking my leg under the table.

Anyway, one thing led to another but I'll spare you the lurid details. Let's just say that service was effected early the following morning.

At my place.