Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Monday* WTF Files: Church pays a couple of PIs $12m

Well, not a real** church but 'Church of Scientology', which probably explains a lot.

Thanks to Twitter and Kevin's Security Scrapbook, I've just heard about how two Private Investigators, Paul Marrick and Greg Arnold  (yes, their real names), received around $500,000 a year over the past 24 years from Scientology's F├╝hrer, David Miscavige.

That amount again: $12 million.

What method to this madness, I ask?

It allegedly transpires the purpose of this bounty was not only to keep tabs on possible rivals within the church such as Pat Broeker and Marty Rathbun, but also an executive of the drug company Eli Lilly (the sole manufacturer of Prozac at that time). Other individuals of interest to the church were also reportedly targeted.

I guess that makes sense in a kind of Sun Tzu way.

But all good things must come to an end and those yearly payments have now halted.

'Not fair!' cried Messrs. Marrick and Arnold who have launched a lawsuit against the Church of Scientology because they were led to believe their jobs were permanent.

Permanent you say? 

I'd reckon 24 years was a pretty good innings, particularly at around $250,000 each per year. Mind you, $250,000 in 1988 was probably a lot better than $250,000 in 2012 but I still wouldn't say no to the latter either. Right now I'd do a hell of a lot for substantially less.

Which makes me think... if the Church of Scientology are good for $12 million, I wonder how much I might get from an approach to the Vatican?

* I'm sure it's still Monday somewhere
**For sake of clarification, we know none of them are real but some religions are kookier than others.


  1. Everyone knows the Vatican has its own secret police who do that kind of work, the Scientologist are now probably using alien tech to do their spying.

    *puts on tin foil hat*

    1. Damn, I may have to go farther afield. I wonder if the Gnomes of Zurich are hiring?